The Reverse Gift List
(courtesy of Caregiver.com Newsletter)
I would like to introduce you to new game that I want all caregivers to learn to play. It’s called the “Reverse Gift List” game. It’s easy and fun for the entire family. Here’s how it’s played. The only things you will need are a pencil, paper and a little faith.
Ready? Okay, let’s start playing. Make two columns on a fresh piece of paper (or computer screen). Entitle the first column “ People I trust” and title the second column “Things they can do”. (Don’t race ahead or you’ll take all the fun out of it). In the “People.” column, list all the people who you think would do any little thing for you. And in the “Things” column, make a list of simple tasks, which would help you and your loved one. Then match up the task to person and ask for your holiday gifts. Allow me to show you an example.
People: Marnie (neighbor), Linda (sister), Amy (friend), Melissa (cousin), Phyllis (neighbor), Mary (Co-worker)
List of things: Cook dinner for us once a month. Pick up groceries twice a month. Watch dad for two hours on a weekend. Come over for one night to talk. Make calls to the insurance company. (Feel free to add to this list…it’s endless)
Now, when people ask what they can do (or even if they don’t), you are ready with bite-sized manageable tasks which will help you and make them feel good for being able to be of some help. The most astounding thing about this game is that once you become a good player, you can accumulate a total of an entire days worth of respite and support each and every week (an hour at a time). Remember, respite can be achieved on a daily basis with the smallest of kindnesses. And, respite does not have to be found outside of the home or take the entire day. Having someone watch your loved one for a few hours while you luxuriate in a long hot bubble bath counts, too.
The cost to play our new game is minimal and the winnings great. No money down and tremendous reduction in stress, strain and depression. So, don’t delay and join the millions of caregivers who have learned how to give better care for their loved one and themselves by playing our fun new game “The Reverse Gift List. A great game to play in any season. . (And nobody ever turns you down when you ask him or her to play. (Better than Parcheesi!)
(Batteries sold separately).
Hats off to you for starting this undertaking in your husband's name. I visited the site and wish you well in this endeavor. I would be happy to have "When You Need a Timeout" as a resource for your group.
Barbara Mitchell, DCH
Click below to view her book
Theresa Cloud Eagle Nelson, Self-Care Specialist and Coach
Congratulations for requesting a copy of 30 Simple Ways
to Practice Self-Care for the Caregiver!
My intention is that you will come away from reading this report with fresh and creative ideas to give yourself some relief from stress in the way of Self-Care to live a more relaxing, peaceful and enjoyable life.
I will be interested to get some feedback to you. If you would be kind enough to shoot me an email to let me know what you have implemented and what has resonated with you the most.
Self-Care Specialist and Coach
Theresa Cloud Eagle Nelson
Short version of this document. Click below:
The InnoAge Program
Provides holistic, comprehensive care options to seniors with an emphasis on enhancing their capabilities and sustaining them in their homes. Life - living independently for elders - uses an innovative and individualized approach to providing healthcare and social services to qualified seniors aged 55 and older.
Click the link below to view the website for more info:
Work: +1 215-951-4400
Address: 6970 Germantown Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19119
Article from 11/18/2011 Caregiver.com Newsletter
At the beginning of each event, I thank an as yet unknown attendee for the wisdom they will share at some point during the day because usually someone says something that will be the subject of my next column. Not this time. This time, I have many caregivers to thank who brought up the concept of caregiver martyrdom. The twist is that they were all talking about someone in their family other than themselves.
Being an educated and fearless caregiver can be a double-edged sword. As you see what you need to do to help your loved one, family members and yourself, it is also easier to see when others are going down a self-destructive path. One caregiver spoke about her sister who, being the only sibling living in the same city as their mom, has become what she can only refer to as a martyr. The comments from her fellow
attendees were terrifically instructive. In a nutshell, they advised that she accept her sister’s feelings, actively take on the role of creating
an attentive support system for her with a Reverse Gift List and make sure her sister understands that she is on her team. (CLICK ON THE BUTTON BELOW TO GO TO THE WEBPAGE). Basically, the webpage gives you an idea to save you time and energy by assigning weekly/monthly jobs to those who ask "what can I do to help". This way you're prepared with a ready made list and options to offer the concerned person. Check it out. It's great!
AARP - Caregiving for the Caregiver: Mind, Body and Soul in Philadelphia
Jean Kirkley Boomers 'R Heroes Caregiver Support Group was honored to participate in the above named event hosted by AARP-PA's Grace Rustia, Associate State Director, AARP Pennsylvania and her team. On Monday, June 9, 2014, Jean was Keynote Speaker for the morning and it was a thrill-ride all the way. It was a blessing to look into the audience and see some of our "heroes" in the crowd. Thank you all for your participation and support of Boomers 'R Heroes as we go through our growing pains. My love to you all.
Please click on the button below–it will take you to the website,
pictures and story.
BOOMERS 'R HEROES CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUP
Fearless Caregiver Newsletters. Additional caregiver support groups.
I am very proud to announce that BOOMERS 'R HEROES is now listed as a Support Group Resource - Philadelphia County, Philadelphia, PA in the Caregivers.com Newsletter under "Local Resources".
The Good Shepherd Mediation Program
The Good Shepherd Mediation Program, established in 1984, is a neighborhood justice center located in the Germantown section of Philadelphia. People in conflict come to the Mediation Program to resolve their disputes through mediation. Our mission is to empower Philadelphia community residents to creatively search for meaningful and lasting solutions to their conflicts without resorting to crime or violence
5356 Chew Ave
Philadelphia, PA 19138
A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, Raised a glass of water and asked 'How heavy is this glass of water?'
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem..
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued, 'And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '
'As with the glass of water, You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again..When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.''So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, Just in case you have to eat them.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be "Recalled" by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, It was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, You're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, But you may also be the world to one person.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.